The Mayonnaise Murders

Pure, Rollicking Fun February 23, 2013
By J. Colella

Format: Kindle Edition | Amazon Verified Purchase “It’s the spirit of Sam Spade with a twist – the main character is an alien. Not from across one of the borders, but an alien complete with gills and hair in unexpected places. Mr. Owens has penned an imaginative, often hilarious, and always entertaining work of fiction that joyfully skates across the genres of science fiction, mystery, comedy, adventure and whimsy.”

Why wait? Get your copy of “The Mayonnaise Murders” right here and now, available both as an eBook in three parts, or as a paperback.

Watch this sneak peek of the book, we know you’ll love it!

Whoever killed Johnny Beardy ruined a perfectly good sandwich in the process. I was hungry when I found him, so that’s the first thing came to my mind.

For the record, my name is Vid. It’s short for a name you don’t wanna bother trying to pronounce if you’re from Earth. Anyway, I solve problems. It’s not what I always did, but things change and here I am. Stuck up to my gills in other critters’ problems on good ole Planet 10.

Once again, if you’re an Earthling reading this, I meant that literally. You folks have a habit of making up cute little sayings and whatnot. Working your tail off. Sweatin’ like a pig. Up to your neck in.

This ain’t one of those. I have gills. Deal with it.

As for Johnny Beardy, he didn’t have gills because he was one of yours. What you folks like to call a rock star. But being without gills wouldn’t explain why young Mr. Beardy was found butt-naked dead in one of Vivacious 5′s more notorious back alleys at night, face down in a sandwich. A really big pork sandwich with mayonnaise on it.