Whoever killed Johnny Beardy ruined a perfectly good sandwich in the process. I was hungry when I found him, so that’s the first thing came to my mind.
For the record, my name is Vid. It’s short for a name you don’t wanna bother trying to pronounce if you’re from Earth. Anyway, I solve problems. It’s not what I always did, but things change and here I am. Stuck up to my gills in other critters’ problems on good ole Planet 10.
Once again, if you’re an Earthling reading this, I meant that literally. You folks have a habit of making up cute little sayings and whatnot. Working your tail off. Sweatin’ like a pig. Up to your neck in.
This ain’t one of those. I have gills. Deal with it.
As for Johnny Beardy, he didn’t have gills because he was one of yours. What you folks like to call a rock star. But being without gills wouldn’t explain why young Mr. Beardy was found butt-naked dead in one of Vivacious 5′s more notorious back alleys at night, face down in a sandwich. A really big pork sandwich with mayonnaise on it.